Short Term Memory Loss

With the rapid fire of American culture - so heartily embraced by the youth of tomorrow - are we losing the ability to retain information?

Who knows the effects of our cram-style educationg and ineffective reading abilities LONG TERM (I am going to put money on our generation only remembering things we saw on TV 20 years from now - and a few of us having the ability to recall events of historical significance.) But my greater concern at the present - why can't we remember things that just happened?

If my short term memory is this bad now what will I be like at 80? I mean, personally, I think getting old is a pretty sweet gig. You start to smell funny, you say strange things, your hair turns grey, you have permission to wear incredibly comfortable outfits, and you get discounts at trendy places like "Ihop" and "Denny's."

**Although I will have you know I don't eat at Denny's. They were an acknowledged racist establishment for years before the big guys realized the chain wouldn't survive if they didn't adjust their policies. My parents wouldn't let us eat there as kids and I still hold a grudge against Denny's thanks to my Mom. Forgive and forget - for hate crimes - never - it's the Branaman way.** ha

But no matter how cool I think getting old is - I am not looking forward to having an even harder time finding my keys in the morning and forgetting over and over I already told all my friends that story about the penguin that bit me at the zoo.

It isn't just things like losing my keys and retelling old stories - it's the little things - like this morning when I realized I had uncapped three of the same pens - because I forgot I was already using one. And now they sit here on my desk - staring at me as a reminder of my inadequate mind.

And here's my theory of the day: advertising and entertainment has made our minds even weaker. It saw the window of opportunity: Americans don't want to wait for ANYTHING so let's play to their fantasies of instant gratification. Movies have become one big action scene - dialogue is of little importance - I mean HELLO we can't wait for things to blow up while people talk. Commercials can be skipped thanks to wonderful products like DVR and Tivo. We have things like instant coffee so we don't even have to wait for it to brew! For God's sake - we wait for NOTHING! If our orders at McDonald's or Starbucks take more than a few moments at the window we get all indignant and pissed off.

"Damnit barista - I need my quad-tall-sugar free-light foam-half hazelnut-half vanilla-latte NOW - my show is about to be done recording on Tivo at home! I need to get back! Could you hurry up already! If I wanted to take my sweet time I could have come inside to talk and read and sip and shit!"

We are a strange and dimented generation.

I will say - I love me some speedy Starbucks though. I'm a disgrace to hippies fighting big-coffee everywhere.