I am enduring the last day of my job. The last day of a time with people I thoroughly enjoy and should be more than appreciative of. Most folks who seek an internship aren't granted such pleasant company.
But I find myself wanting to crawl out of my own skin - ready for new people.
Fresh meat if you will.
I'm tired of seeing the same faces 8-5 Monday through Friday. I am tired of my lame routine from my apartment to various homes to do whatever leisurely activity is available. I value time to relax and time to bond with friends - but I need a new place with new folks to meet.
I spent some time on the phone last night, talking to one of my closest girl friends from school. We had hardly spoken at all since she left at the end of the spring semester. That was mostly my own fault - I, after all, hadn't called. I hate the phone sometimes. I see it as this daunting task, this terribly expectation to make the calls to check in and see how everyone is - calls I just don't want to make.
Am I strange because I prefer waiting months to speak to someone and then playing catch up for hours at coffee? By that time they have focused in on what it was that was important over the past few months. If you call every couple of days - you hear all the stuff they may not even bother to recall if you wait a while to ask.
And although I hadn't called - and I knew I was walking on thin ice because of it - I didn't want to apologize. I knew it wasn't as though my act was malicious or intentionally rude or unkind - so I didn't want to say I was sorry.
The same thing happened today. I expect people to have patience - and maybe that's too much to ask?
But when you are with new people - there is a kind of patience you don't have with acquaintances or even close friends. The polite patience - the new exciting feeling of a new friend... there's the intrigue and that flustered experience of getting to know someone you've never spoken to before.
Maybe my love of new people comes with my understanding that I am at my best during an introduction and initial few conversations. I'm not tired, or busy or boring to them - I'm new, talkative and intriguing - I'm more interesting for the first week than I'll ever be again.
I am the best version of myself with the people I see rarely.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder doesn't it?
